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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Affective Energetics

Memories of conversations and good laughter pour out of the woodwork of this porch. Each creek and bend in its beams puts a bounce in my step. Each timber teems with a trajectory of what has been and what is promised to come. There are knots that have fallen out, they hold the secret to lost objects, forgotten once and for all. I’m seduced by what may lie beneath this rigid frame. When in times of wind, I care for these columns as if they were my only hope. This porch makes possible the oscillations of my swing. Each movement enchants me, amidst its uncertainty a subtle rhythm emerges, grabs hold of me, and takes flight. An iridescent light of reverence spills out upon me, an entire reservoir overflows the dams of memory’s clogged pores. In a single moment of intensity of the everyday, I finally become free to resonate with the multiple me’s.

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2 Comments:

At January 27, 2011 at 1:16 PM , Blogger Eric Yoon said...

Your description of your porch is really powerful in an abstract way, in the sense that I'm sucked into the mood you're establishing. I really liked your opening sentence "Memories of conversations..." as it really sets the tone for the rest of the paragraph. The only thing is that I'm not really sure of what specific emotion you're trying to evoke; love is the closest I can come to defining it here.

So I think if love for your porch is something you want to really convey, you might want to give some more specific details about the porch such as a particular mark on a column or the color of the paint. Or you could tie in a specific memory to your description of the porch.

Also really minor but "damns" in your second to last sentence should be "dams".

 
At January 27, 2011 at 1:25 PM , Blogger Samantha said...

A porch (a thing) is being described here. I definitely feel a lot of emotion within this piece. For example, you can tell the writer is overwhelmed with emotion towards the porch in this sentence: Each movement enchants me, amidst its uncertainty a subtle rhythm emerges, grabs hold of me, and takes flight. The piece provoked a sense of happiness in me for the writer. However, I felt as though I could not connect with the writer as I do not know about his own personal memories on this porch. My favorite mental image is within the first sentence as I feel that this sentence strongly provokes a sense of happiness. I think the piece could be even more powerful with the addition of vivid descriptions of the writer's personal memories.

 

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